TAMAR:: EPISODE 30

TAMAR. Episode 30.

“there was once a farmer who has crop planted in his big farm, he loved his farm dearly and did not want any weed to affect his crops, he wanted to make sure his crops turn out bountifully during harvest time, so when he noticed weeds were beginning to crowd his crops and suffocate them he decided to get workers, he went out that morning and got few workers and they agreed on a certain wage, which was ten shelling, by noon he saw another set of people loitering around and also called them to his big farm with the same payment agreement, and by evening an hour to the end of work he saw another set of people sitting by the market square and he asked them if they are interested to work for an hour in his farmland and they were excited at the offer, at the end of the day the whole workers got their wages, which was all ten shelling… the first workers he employed in the morning got angry with the farmer and said, “master, we have being working in your farmland all day, since morning, and this people you employed an hour ago got the same wage with us, that is so unfair of you…we are suppose to get more than every worker here… and the farmer replied, “my son, you need not be offended because we agreed on ten shelling before the work commence, I agreed to pay everyone ten shelling and I have done that, it doesn’t really matter if is morning, noon or evening, my agreement with you stand and I did not break that. The workers all went home with same amount…“But that’s unfair, the farmer suppose to pay the first workers more than he did with the last that just worked for an hour…

“is an illustration to show you the ways of God, God is the farmer, while this world is the big farmland and we are the workers in the farm, we all run the same race, so because I accepted Christ first or last doesn’t mean a thing to God because before him we are all equal, be it master or slave, freeborn or not, we are all equal before God and he will judge us according, on the last day, God will not say, let the rich come this said and let the poor stand right there, no, God is not partial, his ways are very pleasing and he is a loving God who loves us even when we can’t love our selves, the Bible said, the race is not for the swift and the battle is not for the strong but time and chance happen to them all, you are wealthy, freeborn, good looking and educated all this things are very good, but on that last day you will appear as everyone before God, God doesn’t care about all your achievement and qualities, all that matters to him is your heart.

“Is a good story… I mean the farmer and the worker and the way your God works, now I have heard about your God can you tell me about yourself? You said you have two things which is your God and yourself, so tell about yourself since you are done talking about your God...

“Vim, ooh my God, why do you have ears but can not hear or even understand all I have being trying to tell you about God, why is your heart so harden, Vim...do I need to open your heart to take off that hard thing in there for you to believe..

“I like the way you call me, you sound exactly like Tar… Tamar when you call my name… don’t be mad at me, you are angry with me… I may not see your face but I can hear it from your voice… Leah…why do you make me feel this way, hot all over, I’m trying, seriously to keep calm while you seat there and tell me the story of a farmer and his workers and the way your God works, all I wish is that you are Tamar sitting opposite me… I loved her and I really miss her, is just too hard to move on Leah, too hard to get her off my heart, it feels as if she is alive in my heart but dead to the world, you are the only woman I have ever picked interest in ever since after Tamar, people thinks that I am crazy, but I am not, isn’t that strange that I can’t see your face but you cross my heart anytime you aren’t around here, your brother, Tedran says you are not married and not meeting with any man yet… I…don’t know if…you…I mean if we can be together, you and I, let’s get to know more about ourselves and I desire you to be mine… I don’t care much about your burnt scar, I fell in love with the voice not your face, I know I still need to see your face Leah, but it's not important, you can be on this khimar for the rest of our lives together and it will not make any difference to me, your burnt scar will not come between my feeling for you… but I know you and Tamar seem alike, so fanatic and I hate to be turned down, it feels so sad to be rejected by a woman you truly love, you will feel like a loser, well that’s how I felt when Tamar chose her God over me

“yeah, it doesn't feel so good to be turned down by a woman, you said Tamar turned you down because of her believe, and now Leah will not still accept this offer of yours because of her believe too… but she has something to tel…

He stood up from his seat before I could say another word and came to me, he knelt right in front of me… and held my hands…

“is alright...I understand why you have to say no, is fine, I know better now, I don’t have to be angry and hate myself or even hate you, is your decision to make, I’m not forcing you to give me the answer now, but please take your time and think about my offer Leah, I will wait, I’m ready to wait until you come up with an answer…I…I

And then he stopped and shut his eyes for sometime he opened them again and all I can see is myself in his eye ball, he touched my khimar and rubbed his hands on my face, and when he got to the spot of the lion scar he pause, and pull down his hand, he gently tried to pull up the khimar but I held his hand, he tried to reassure me that he won’t see my face, as he tried again I stopped him, he stopped for sometime and tried again, this time, I did not stop him, I wanted to see what he was about to do, he pulled the khimar to my nose and suddenly stop, he bent over tried to kiss me but I quickly turned away, he straightened my face with his hand and tried again, he kissed me still holding onto my khimar from going up, he kissed me again as if he was tasting the lips, I turned away and stood up immediately...

“Your lips, they taste like that of Tamar… I’m sorry, I don’t suppose to keep saying her name all the time, I was just possessed with everything in her...Leah, I love you, please let’s make this work, help me to forget what hurts, I…can’t deny the fact that I love you, just like I have loved Tar...mar…aaahhhh! Why do you remind me of her, I keep trying to shut her off my mind, I’m sorry, deeply sorry, this is about us Leah, Tamar is gone, and I will try to remember that…

“Tamar is not gone…Tamar is right here, in this room with you…

“her ghost, do you mean her spirit is right here, what does she look like… wait a minute… do you see spirits or communicate with them, can you see spirit with your visible eyes…

“if I reveal Tamar to you, will you believe in her God, if Tamar appears right here, will you believe there’s a God greater than all gods, will you trust in her God, if she ask you to believe will you still find it difficult to do that…

“I will if she appears right now, I will believe in her God, and even more if I can touch her and just hold her hands and hear her speak to me, I will do whatever she wants me to do, I will Leah, can you call her spirit up, just once, if that is possible, I feel stupid asking for such an impossible thing, huuuh! Okay… this is crazy I know, let’s just forget it and focus on us…

I watch as he combed his hand into his head and then pause and looked at me, he moved closer and stood right in front of me, and when I suddenly started removing my khimar, he smile and then frown again on seeing the scar, I pulled back the khimar off my face and looked at him, he was looking at me and just then his eyes widen in shock he stood back in shock, and held his mouth from screaming, he started muttering “ghost, ghost… you changed to Tamar’s ghost with those lion’s scar… Leah… is that you or… oh the gods…

“You said if you see Tamar again, you will believe, so do you belie…

He screamed in shock and rubbed his eyes, he looked round the room and shakes his head, he shut his eyes and opened it again, and I was still standing there and he suddenly ran out, he ran to his parent's chamber and I followed, with his scream Abel ran out, Zity came out, the slaves were out, everyone wanted to know what was going on, and just when Zity was coming out, she came face to face with me, she also screamed and fell back and Abel who was close by was at her side, everyone was afraid, they all thought I was a ghost except Abel, Abel nodded for me to go ahead to Lord Reese's chamber and I did, it was funny and I wanted to laugh at some point especially when I got to the master’s chamber and they all crawled to one corner, Vim stood at a far side of the wall looking at me as I entered, Lord Reese and Lady Phin held on to each other as they started screaming Jesus, Abel lead Zity to the big chamber and sat her down, the slaves were murmuring at the passage, as they all thought a slave ghost appeared,

Then Abel spoke on my behalf

“she is no ghost, this is Tamar not Leah, yes, she is alive, and that is the mark of the lion on her face, the mark the lions left on her face, this is a prove to everyone that God is not dead, He is alive yesterday, today and forever, this is a prove to everyone that God saved Tamar, in His word He said He said will never allow the righteous to be forsaken, God is the same yesterday, today and forever, God saved Tamar and the other slave girl that was sent down to the lion’s with her, they call her Shamara and she is a believer and she has gotten married to Tedran, the young man that came down here with Tamar, Tedran and his father, Cozam are the two people God used to help Tamar and Shamara, do not be shocked or surprised, is being Tamar all this while, and not Leah, Vim do you believe now, you are just like a man in the bible called Thomas, he doubted that Jesus has risen from the dead until he saw and touched Jesus, only then did he believe that he was Christ…

Everywhere fell silent, and I spoke as I narrate all my encounter to them and why I have to go on a khimar and change identity, it was shocking, and seem unbelievable to everyone, Zity stood up and took my palm into hers, she looked into them as if she suddenly realized that is all true, that I have being alive all this while, she threw herself into my arms and held onto me and started crying, she was pleading to be forgiven for allowing Okra to send me to the lions, Lady Phin stood with Lord Reese it was as if they wanted to come to me, I rushed to their side and knelt before them in respect, I watch as Lady Phin tears dropped on my body, she couldn’t contain herself, as she started praising God, Lord Reese sat and took my hands into his, he look at my scar and shakes his head in pity, I smiled amid tears as everyone was trying to understand if I was real or not. Abel was smiling as he looked on, Vim has not moved from where he stood at one corner, kept looking at the whole thing, and still doubting within him if I was real or not. Abel laughed at the way he stayed at the wall like a scared and confused child,

I know with this he will finally believe, if this is what it takes for him to believe so be it, I’m glad I don’t need to hide anymore, I am fully out and I am myself again, I stood up and for the first time I was able to hug lady Phin, she gently drew me into a hug with tears in her eyes and I held her like the mother I lost to cold war and lady Phin has not proven otherwise to me ever since I came under their roof.

Vim is just like Abel described him, doubting Thomas, seeing is believing for him and I know with this he won’t run from God anymore, now God will have him where he wants him to be.

Is all like a dream to them all and it will take a while for the shock to settle in, and even more shocking revelation is coming for Zity when she realize that little Jon like I call him is alive and healthy, the son who was suppose to be disposed.

I feel so free as the evening breeze greeted my face after a long time of covering, now is time to take God to the street corners, cities and districts, without fear or shame and let the people know how great God is, I am a living proof to everyone.